“I’m scared of getting ‘it’ wrong”- if I had a pound for every time I’ve heard a client say this over the last couple of years………..
What’s the Context?
To give this context, it’s come up when we’ve been talking about having tough conversations; dealing with tricky HR matters; giving feedback; during equality, diversity and inclusion training; prevention of sexual harassment training; leading a team and being promoted to a people manager for the first time.
I’ve tried to unpack this with clients to understand where this ‘fear’ stems from and what ‘it’ is. Unsurprisingly, there’s no one answer. The discussions are as complex as the tasks they’re “scared” of.
One common theme is the fear of getting ‘it’ wrong in a landscape where legislation is complex and rapidly evolving. People talk about the complexity of language and definitions and the struggle to keep up. They’ve talked about differing generational expectations of what’s tolerated.
Clients have shared anecdotes about complex grievances, anonymous reporting about things people have said- some have described an environment where they feel people are actively waiting for people to “get it wrong” to then pounce on the issue rather than having a constructive conversation to resolve the issue. I’ve seen first-hand the AI-generated grievances that are muddled, complex and multiple pages long.
There’s concern about the upcoming legislative changes and how this results in more complexity to unpick day-to-day. Some people have talked about the amount of time navigating complex issues (particularly when it goes wrong) takes when they feel they could be channelling their energy into more positive things. They’ve talked about the impact on their health and wellbeing of dealing with tough things so they feel it’s better to avoid it all together- positioned as self-preservation.
I’ve even had discussions about why people wouldn’t want to be a people manager as they feel it’s just too much hassle to deal with.
What’s at Play Here?
My take on this is that lots of things are happening to feed this ‘fear’:
As I mentioned, it’s complex and the list goes on.
- It may be that some people work in an organisation where there’s a lack of support and they don’t feel they can admit they don’t know how to deal with something.
- Lack of psychological safety with a fear of “getting it wrong” stemming from a culture where failure is punished. This can lead to avoidance or hiding mistakes.
- It may be born out of an individual’s desire to be seen as never making a mistake so they actively avoid putting themselves in a situation where this may happen.
- Lack of education on how to navigate complex legislation.
- They’ve never had any formal development so these issues are just another thing they’re having to ‘work out as they go along.’
- Lack of open discussion about acceptable vs. unacceptable workplace behaviour for all.
- The support is lacking so should a situation become more tricky and they feel that ‘nobody has their back.’
- Senior people are the perpetrators. Overwhelmed with their workload and struggling to keep up with change.
Why Does it Matter?
I get it. Putting yourself out there is tough, especially if you don’t have support if it goes wrong or support on how to deal with something in the first place.
The problem is that when people avoid one thing, the list of things that get avoided grows at an alarming rate. If tough conversations aren’t happening and feedback is being actively avoided, it has a dramatic, rapid and negative effect on your culture.
When people are “scared of getting ‘it’ wrong” they often actively avoid risky situations, stop being curious and fail to educate themselves. Silos worsen as people gravitate to people who won’t challenge them, all of which impact the workplace. Ultimately, the impact is wide-reaching: employee engagement; absence; health and wellbeing; productivity and turnover.
What Next?
“I’m scared of getting ‘it’ wrong” on the surface seems like a vulnerable and honest declaration. Don’t get me wrong, it can be those things. But the key thing for me is what you do with that information. Understanding what that’s telling you about the person and the culture of an organisation.
I know there’s no easy fix. I’m a strong advocate of educating people and equipping people with the tools to be able to deal with things with confidence.
I hope we stay curious. If we don’t understand something, what’s the worse that can happen if we ask somebody to help us understand? “I don’t know much about ‘x’ but I’d love to learn more. Would you mind explaining it to me……..tell me more.”
And what if we start by reframing “I’m scared of getting ‘it’ wrong” to “I want to learn how to get ‘it’ right? ”
Kay Gunn is a specialist in developing first-time people managers. If you would like to learn more about how she can support your leadership journey, please get in contact kay@kaygunn.com
